Daddy's Dilemmas

My mother in law was Big Data

During and after the pregnancy, my wife’s adviser was my mother in law, “the most experienced” and “always” she knew almost everything. But why my mother in law advice required such attention?

Well, I assume because she’s seventy-two-year-old, she’s observed more marriages, many that worked and many that didn’t. And over the years, she has cataloged the cures for many diseases, pains, weather, food and how to take care babies.

Doing the math, my mother in law had access to the most significant number of “data” (myths), so my mother in law was kind of Big Data.

I enjoyed these myths during my nighttime reading (they made me laugh), but the big problem was that I don’t believe them, and from that moment I decided to take a big step in defeat those myths.

Where do I start? I thought in the back up of the Big Data: My Mom. I placed a call and asked her about taking care of a newborn. I was anxious for the real knowledge, and this was the short and concise advice:

Get a nurse
— Mom

Well, I assumed my mom thought that I was a good for nothing on this topic. I said bye to Mom and please give my best to Dad.

And thus began the greatest challenge of my life.

Science must begin with myths, and with the criticism of myths.
— Karl R. Popper, Conjectures and Refutations: The Growth of Scientific Knowledge

12 March 2017

I lost the test with the first question.

Finally, we were in the delivery room, and my wife was resting. The previous night I had downloaded various books, getting information about the steps to take at birth. I was anxiously waiting for the moment.

After procedures, I saw our baby leave the uterus of his mother, and I felt a wave of panic: the head of the baby was rectangular!

That information was not in any of the books I had read. I had lost the test just with the first question.

After the birth, I was talking with my wife about this, a funny moment; we had a good laugh.

 

A successful defense lawyer says: If you argue ten points, even if each is a good point, when they get back to the jury room they won’t remember any
— Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

If I were to give single advice based on what I know about during the pregnancy, it would be this:

"Gain just the appropriate weight and Eat only the right foods."

02 March 2017

I should remain flexible.

Most of the time I was reading on my couch, and the voice inside my head was continually cheering me up: You're doing exceptional, the new baby will soon arrive, and you'll be ready. One day the voice was doubtful, concerned and afraid.

How do I get my girl to take risks that help her to learn?, My little girl is going to be happy?

Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information acquired. Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your gut.
— Retired general Colin Powell

I felt a huge gap in my mind, and it was causing me mental pain and to take away the pain, I needed to fill that gap. Finally, I realized my mistake; I needed facts, not just advice about raising children.

But there were many mysteries about raising children, an enormous amount of parenting books, blogs, and mothers-in-law, and every relative who’s ever had a child. There was plenty of information out there. Hard to know what to believe.

It is not the case that I am caught in a web of beliefs; rather, I am caught in a network of witnesses.
— Avishai Margalit

I needed to make a decision, even with incomplete information: Nothing is certain, I should remain flexible.

22 Jan 2017